So, Mike is leaving in the morning for Sitka. I really wish I could go with him. I love Sitka, and I haven’t been there in awhile. However, I am stuck with working this week. So Mike is going to leave in the morning to go over to the ferry with my dad. Then he will be back on Friday night on the ferry. So until then I will be at home, lonely, with my mom but oh well. This trip to Sitka should open up more opportunities for Mike which is good.
So this week you will be seeing more blogs from me because I promised Mike a blog every day while he was gone.
I also wanted to post on here tonight that I found the picture of Mike, Bryce, Me, and Dick on Anchorage Daily News with Mike’s first Halibut. It was very interesting. I am guessing Bryce must have submitted it. You can view it at
I also ran across this old site of Sam’s that had our old Romania stuff on it… The journal from our group, and some photos and whatnot. I plan to do something with my Romania stuff, and my photos here in a few weeks. It is at I bought Ilife 09 and it sounds like it will have a lot of great options for designing a webpage with that stuff on it. So you can look forward to seeing that. Anyways, I think I am going to head off to bed. Hope you all had a great weekend, and a great week ahead of you. Oh yeah, and we also had two people die this past month in Coffman Cove. Very unusual. It’s kinda sad, as everyone here kinda seems like family because you know them so well.

So…. Don’t think your going to hear something to go running and spreading a rumor about, because well I’m not having a kid. At least not at this point in time. However, I am trying to buy a house here in Coffman Cove. It is a very nice 3 bedroom house, and I should hear back about it this week sometime to see if I get it, or if the bank will need more information and whatnot.
I am really hoping to be able to get the house. I would love to own one of my own, and be able to live on my own again. Not that I hate living with my parents, but just the simple fact that I am old enough that I believe I should be out on my own and fending for myself.
Then if I get the house I think Mike and I are going to try to bring one or two of his brothers up here to live or stay with us for awhile. I would love it as I love kids and I think it would be a great opportunity for not only us but also for his brothers. So anyways, we are thinking about that, and I think that even if we don’t get this house we may look into bringing one of them up.
Lastly, I just started my summer classes this last week. They seem to be going well so far. So hopefully I get good grades in them:) Well, anyways, better get off of here and do something more productive….. Like… Maybe facebook.

So…. As you all probably know right now I am sitting in Anchorage at the Millenium Hotel, becuase I am at AmeriCorps training for the week. Yesterday, Sunday, I flew up here to Anchorage. Which was a long day. It started out at 5 in the morning driving over to the ferry. Then I went to Ketchikan, walked over to the airport, and then sat there for like 5 hours. Then I flew out of Ketchikan, and was on a plane for five hours. Then finally landed here in Anchorage where I was brought to my hotel. So as you can probably tell that was a long long long boring day.

Then after my long trip here on Sunday, I went to bed. Only to have to wake up at 6:00 this morning to head off to breakfast. Breakfast is 6:30 to 8 every morning:) Then we did some ice breaks with the group of like 38 people, so we could possibly get to know each other. lol. However, out of all those people, I remember very few.
Eddie, Shelby, Donna, Amy, Ami, Rob, Skip, and well that is about it… Lol.
I also knew Liz, Heidi, and Charlie but that doesnt really count becuase I already kind of knew them.
Anyways, then after all of that we went on with a boring day of training. Where we learned about methamphetimines. Which I actually kinda found semi interesting. If it wasnt for me already knowing all the information that was presented. As a few years back I worked with a Methamphetamine Prevention Coalition. But the program lost its funding. Maybe this is something that I could get started back with this whole AmeriCorps program. Huh. Never really thought about that.

Then we learned how to fill out our paperwork. Yah I know boring.

Then. It was to the food bank where we spent from 2:30-5 working sorting out foods. Which was actually really interesting, becuase when I walked in my teacher from highschool who now teaches at the North Pole was there. I was like wow! I haven’t seen her since I graduated from highschool which was like almost 3 years ago. Wow. Time Flies. Anyways, so we talked a lot as you would imagine, of course she wanted to know how her old student and old students were doing and whatnot. So that was fun! I was very excited!

And now…. Well I am just sitting here in the hotel wishing i had someone to talk to… Feel free to add me to messanger…… sabrinaclair@hotmail.com or the_alaskan_angel@yahoo.com or SAMB1208 for Aim or I also have MyspaceIM. So feel free to contact me. Also you can text me at 503-580-7717

Oh yeah and I also decided after a day of being here. That I do not at any point wish to live in Anchorage, Alaska. Smile. Just thought that I would make a note of that. Hope you all are having a good week.

Here I am stuck in a world I hate and don’t want to be in. I can’t do anything without getting yelled at and I can’t do nothing to prevent getting yelled at. Whether it’s my fault or not I am the one to blame. Why? I don’t know.
It’s just the way things always are with my family. What was I thinking coming back here, instead of staying with friends that loved me. What was I thinking taking this AmeriCorps position that causes me to have to spend a whole other year here. Maybe it was the fact that I thought we were going to be able to move out of my parents house, or maybe it was the fact that I needed a job and something to do.
But now I am here stuck with someone who yells at me for every little thing that doesnt go his way, and I don’t know what to do about it besides get depressed about it. Oh well. I guess its life.
We’ll see what happens I guess. Maybe things will get better. Anyways, I do have a little bit of work to do before I get the Americorps position up and started. I am going to be working at the school on Thursday of this week, and it appears half of next week. Plus I start college classes this coming week which will be good hopefully that goes good anyways. As for last term I looked at my grades, and I am already doing relatively better than what I was doing at WOU with classes. So that is great. Anyways, hope the beginning of your guy’s year has caught you in a better situation than that of mine. With everything that has to do with life in general.

Well, My parents MIke and I are all on the ferry on our way home. I would love to say that I am completely excited about being home. However, that in fact is not the case. I mean don’t get me wrong I love being at home in Alaska with family and everyone, but theres the downfalls too. Like Mike not being happy there. No one my age living there, and etc. I guess I can live with that though.
Anyways, we should all be home Monday night. To what sounds like 5 or more feet of snow as long as it don’t warm up before we get there, which well would be completely disastrous end to this vacation as I hate driving on ice. Anyways, hope you all had a good new years filled with a lot of fun adventures. As for Mike and I’s relationship. Hopefully it works out, but for some reason I think he is going to end up leaving and going back to Oregon to live with George. Its just the vibe that I get.

Well, it appears that Michael has decided to head home with me. I am very glad about this but yet, kind of sad. It seems as if hes only doing it to keep me from getting upset, and to keep from hurting my nephews feeling. I only hope that he is doing this for the right reasons. Anyways, this is all that I have time to write as of right now. Hope you all have a great New Years!

Well, I suppose by now ya all are wondering how my vacation to Montana and to Coos Bay has went. Me myself am not sure. It seems as if, life just isn’t right. In the first place I didnt really want to go to Montana when it was time to go. It seemed as if it just wasnt the right thing to do, because of some of the previous incidents with Michael. However, putting aside everything that happened I packed up my bags and headed off to Montana. After a long day of traveling, and being stuck at the Seattle airport we arrived in Kalispell, MT. It was frigid, yeah, thats what the news said. It is frigid today you are advised to stay inside, and dress warm. First time I have ever heard that on the news. But at this point it was like 4 in the morning so all we wanted to do was sleep…..

However, things never worked as planned we all know that…….

So, here comes the next event of our trip……

Here I am in Montana with Michael, laying on Mikes sister Amanda’s living room floor ready to fall asleep. And apparently Michael has something he wants to talk to me about. He didnt buy a plane ticket home. Yep you got that right. He was not planning to come back to Alaska with me. So, at the point of him telling me this I am just ready to leave, but well there is no way to get out of there. I’m stuck. And Mike has decided after 5 minutes at his parents house that well, this just isn’t going to work out. I can’t stay here he said. So, we looked at some plane tickets, and I ended buying Mike a plane ticket back to Coos Bay, and changed my flight to the next day.
Now here we are in Coos Bay, for awhile everything went great, we got along, were honest with each other for probably the first time in our relationship. However, I found out some things that slightly ruined the idea of us staying in a relationship. The biggest thing is that my cousin recently had a baby. Me myself has always wanted kids. And come to find out Mike doesnt think he wants kids, and doesnt know if he wants to get married. So imagine how this breaks my heart. I didnt know how to respond and honestly still dont.

Then…..

Not only does this happen but I even begin to learn more things about Mike, his past, his present, and just him overall that are bubbling inside me, my mind, and I just dont know how to feel about them or what I should do. I mean I am not saying I’m perfect, but the main thing in my mind right now is how someone can be so deceiving, untruthful, and yet act like they love you more than anyone in the world. I love the guy. I honestly do, but how should I feel? What should I do? He needs some things that alaska really can’t offer him, and well, he really hates alaska. What do I do let him go, and allow the situation to break my heart? or tell him that I truly still love him, and I can’t stand for him to stay behind. Anyways, I think this is all the information I can offer you on the situation. Point being… As of Sunday, December 28th, 2008 I do not know if Mike will be coming back to the state of Alaska with me.

I am truly hurt by this simple fact……

I will keep you updated on my situation as well as Mike’s and the information that he will allow me to share with you all.

However on the bright side I have gotten the job with Americorps and am greatly happy about the whole situation. I just need to get some paperwork faxed and mailed off and the beginning process of that job will be done. I will also keep you updated in this situation.

So, Today I filled out an application to work as a volunteer through AmeriCorp. They have a program through RurAL CAP for Health and Ecology volunteers within communities. It so happens that Southeast Island School District was looking for an individual that would be interested in applying for this position. If I were to get this position it would mean that I would help out within our community with various volunteer efforts. Including things such as but not limited to, Recycling, Greenhouse, Clean-up, and helping within the local classroom. This would benefit our community greatly. So hopefully I will receive this position. It would get me 1200 a month and then after a year I would get 4700 towards school. Which is great! This would also mean that for a week during January I would be traveling up to Anchorage where I would attend classes on how to be a successful AmeriCorps member, and provide me with some ideas to implement within the community.

Secondly, Mike and I still have not bought our tickets to leave Montana. I guess we should do that relatively soon. It would most likely be a good idea. I have been working a quiet bit within the last month or so. Which is great, I have been earning some money, which helps me out with car payments and what not.

Also, Mike got his teeth fixed yesterday! They look great, however, they have seemed to be painful for the last couple days. Which sucks. But I guess he shouldnt have went and broke his teeth as a kid… Lol Kidding.

Anyways, Hope that ya all have a great weekend!

Well, last night Mike and I bought the tickets to go to Montana for a week during Christmas break. This should be very interesting as neither one of us have ever been there. Where exactly are we going you ask….. Whitefish, MT. Yep. It appears that it is a smaller town, so we will see. We were talking about bringing Mike’s brother Josh up to Alaska, but as of right now. I don’t know if that is going to happen. Now all we have to do is buy our tickets down to Coos Bay, which we are having difficulties finding as the airlines just switched.

So, it appears that people out there just don’t seem to think that us Mac users should play games. Why do I say this. Because it appears that these online game sites, none of them make their games available to the mac. I have yet to find one, if you know of any that have good games that are available on the mac. I would be happy to know. But for the mean time I am wanting to try out this new stupid Bejeweled twist game that I read about on digg…. And what do you know. Its not available on the mac. At least not of yet.
Anyways, Stupid Mac Games isn’t my only reason for writing this blog. I aslo thought that I would update ya all with what was going on in my life since I haven’t wrote a blog in a while. This past weekend Mike, My mom, and I all went into Ketchikan. I guess it was fun. Although I was wanting to get my hair cut, and it appeared that I must of had a look about me or something because no one wanted to cut my hair. Oh well, life I guess. We also went to the movies with my nephew Shawn and neice Jessica, and we watched High school Musical 3. It was pretty good I seemed to enjoy it. And I think the rest of us did to.
Then we are nearing Halloween this coming Friday. Mike and I are going to make some cute little cupcakes for the kids at school, and we carved our pumpkins today. Tomorrow I will get a picture of us with our pumpkins and upload them onto myspace. Then on Nov. 1st is the Halloween Carnival. So that should be fun. It will be Mikes first time in Alaska for that.
Also, school is going pretty good I guess. However, once again I am contemplating the idea of changing my major. The fact is I have no damn clue what I want to do. Lol. I started out with highschool education, changed to accounting, and am now thinking about the possibilities of early childhood education or business. However, at one point I even contemplated the idea of Special Education. But I really have no idea. If you ask me, maybe I shouldn’t be in college. Maybe I should attempt something like a postal exam, and go for working in a post office.
Last thing, Mike and I are thinking about going to Montana and Coos Bay for christmas. I can’t wait. I have never been to Montana, so that will be an interesting experience. Plus we haven’t seen Michaels family in awhile so that will be good. Then we will get to go to Coos Bay and see my cousins new little baby due the 25th of December!