Here I am stuck in a world I hate and don’t want to be in. I can’t do anything without getting yelled at and I can’t do nothing to prevent getting yelled at. Whether it’s my fault or not I am the one to blame. Why? I don’t know.
It’s just the way things always are with my family. What was I thinking coming back here, instead of staying with friends that loved me. What was I thinking taking this AmeriCorps position that causes me to have to spend a whole other year here. Maybe it was the fact that I thought we were going to be able to move out of my parents house, or maybe it was the fact that I needed a job and something to do.
But now I am here stuck with someone who yells at me for every little thing that doesnt go his way, and I don’t know what to do about it besides get depressed about it. Oh well. I guess its life.
We’ll see what happens I guess. Maybe things will get better. Anyways, I do have a little bit of work to do before I get the Americorps position up and started. I am going to be working at the school on Thursday of this week, and it appears half of next week. Plus I start college classes this coming week which will be good hopefully that goes good anyways. As for last term I looked at my grades, and I am already doing relatively better than what I was doing at WOU with classes. So that is great. Anyways, hope the beginning of your guy’s year has caught you in a better situation than that of mine. With everything that has to do with life in general.

Well, it appears that Michael has decided to head home with me. I am very glad about this but yet, kind of sad. It seems as if hes only doing it to keep me from getting upset, and to keep from hurting my nephews feeling. I only hope that he is doing this for the right reasons. Anyways, this is all that I have time to write as of right now. Hope you all have a great New Years!

Well, I suppose by now ya all are wondering how my vacation to Montana and to Coos Bay has went. Me myself am not sure. It seems as if, life just isn’t right. In the first place I didnt really want to go to Montana when it was time to go. It seemed as if it just wasnt the right thing to do, because of some of the previous incidents with Michael. However, putting aside everything that happened I packed up my bags and headed off to Montana. After a long day of traveling, and being stuck at the Seattle airport we arrived in Kalispell, MT. It was frigid, yeah, thats what the news said. It is frigid today you are advised to stay inside, and dress warm. First time I have ever heard that on the news. But at this point it was like 4 in the morning so all we wanted to do was sleep…..

However, things never worked as planned we all know that…….

So, here comes the next event of our trip……

Here I am in Montana with Michael, laying on Mikes sister Amanda’s living room floor ready to fall asleep. And apparently Michael has something he wants to talk to me about. He didnt buy a plane ticket home. Yep you got that right. He was not planning to come back to Alaska with me. So, at the point of him telling me this I am just ready to leave, but well there is no way to get out of there. I’m stuck. And Mike has decided after 5 minutes at his parents house that well, this just isn’t going to work out. I can’t stay here he said. So, we looked at some plane tickets, and I ended buying Mike a plane ticket back to Coos Bay, and changed my flight to the next day.
Now here we are in Coos Bay, for awhile everything went great, we got along, were honest with each other for probably the first time in our relationship. However, I found out some things that slightly ruined the idea of us staying in a relationship. The biggest thing is that my cousin recently had a baby. Me myself has always wanted kids. And come to find out Mike doesnt think he wants kids, and doesnt know if he wants to get married. So imagine how this breaks my heart. I didnt know how to respond and honestly still dont.

Then…..

Not only does this happen but I even begin to learn more things about Mike, his past, his present, and just him overall that are bubbling inside me, my mind, and I just dont know how to feel about them or what I should do. I mean I am not saying I’m perfect, but the main thing in my mind right now is how someone can be so deceiving, untruthful, and yet act like they love you more than anyone in the world. I love the guy. I honestly do, but how should I feel? What should I do? He needs some things that alaska really can’t offer him, and well, he really hates alaska. What do I do let him go, and allow the situation to break my heart? or tell him that I truly still love him, and I can’t stand for him to stay behind. Anyways, I think this is all the information I can offer you on the situation. Point being… As of Sunday, December 28th, 2008 I do not know if Mike will be coming back to the state of Alaska with me.

I am truly hurt by this simple fact……

I will keep you updated on my situation as well as Mike’s and the information that he will allow me to share with you all.

However on the bright side I have gotten the job with Americorps and am greatly happy about the whole situation. I just need to get some paperwork faxed and mailed off and the beginning process of that job will be done. I will also keep you updated in this situation.

So, Mike and I have been working on reproducing a site that we once had up called Audiofics. So far we have gotten 10 chapters of one audiofic uploaded. If you are interested in reading the audiofic it is a Harry Potter fanfic, and you can access the story from our site Audiofics.net If you have any suggestions on stories that you would like to see on there email us at admin@audiofics.net and we will look into getting them up.
Secondly, Mike and I have been trying to get arrangements for going South and whatnot, unfortunately were trying to figure things out becuase the flights are mostly full so there isnt really going to be room for Michael’s dog. So Mike is going to call Monday and see if there is any way we could get seats that have room for his dog and whatnot. So hopefully we can figure something out.
Well, anyways that is all I got for right now. Hope ya all are having a good weekend. Also I will post a joke here momentarily. Havent posted one in awhile now.

So, Today I filled out an application to work as a volunteer through AmeriCorp. They have a program through RurAL CAP for Health and Ecology volunteers within communities. It so happens that Southeast Island School District was looking for an individual that would be interested in applying for this position. If I were to get this position it would mean that I would help out within our community with various volunteer efforts. Including things such as but not limited to, Recycling, Greenhouse, Clean-up, and helping within the local classroom. This would benefit our community greatly. So hopefully I will receive this position. It would get me 1200 a month and then after a year I would get 4700 towards school. Which is great! This would also mean that for a week during January I would be traveling up to Anchorage where I would attend classes on how to be a successful AmeriCorps member, and provide me with some ideas to implement within the community.

Secondly, Mike and I still have not bought our tickets to leave Montana. I guess we should do that relatively soon. It would most likely be a good idea. I have been working a quiet bit within the last month or so. Which is great, I have been earning some money, which helps me out with car payments and what not.

Also, Mike got his teeth fixed yesterday! They look great, however, they have seemed to be painful for the last couple days. Which sucks. But I guess he shouldnt have went and broke his teeth as a kid… Lol Kidding.

Anyways, Hope that ya all have a great weekend!

Well, last night Mike and I bought the tickets to go to Montana for a week during Christmas break. This should be very interesting as neither one of us have ever been there. Where exactly are we going you ask….. Whitefish, MT. Yep. It appears that it is a smaller town, so we will see. We were talking about bringing Mike’s brother Josh up to Alaska, but as of right now. I don’t know if that is going to happen. Now all we have to do is buy our tickets down to Coos Bay, which we are having difficulties finding as the airlines just switched.

So, it appears that people out there just don’t seem to think that us Mac users should play games. Why do I say this. Because it appears that these online game sites, none of them make their games available to the mac. I have yet to find one, if you know of any that have good games that are available on the mac. I would be happy to know. But for the mean time I am wanting to try out this new stupid Bejeweled twist game that I read about on digg…. And what do you know. Its not available on the mac. At least not of yet.
Anyways, Stupid Mac Games isn’t my only reason for writing this blog. I aslo thought that I would update ya all with what was going on in my life since I haven’t wrote a blog in a while. This past weekend Mike, My mom, and I all went into Ketchikan. I guess it was fun. Although I was wanting to get my hair cut, and it appeared that I must of had a look about me or something because no one wanted to cut my hair. Oh well, life I guess. We also went to the movies with my nephew Shawn and neice Jessica, and we watched High school Musical 3. It was pretty good I seemed to enjoy it. And I think the rest of us did to.
Then we are nearing Halloween this coming Friday. Mike and I are going to make some cute little cupcakes for the kids at school, and we carved our pumpkins today. Tomorrow I will get a picture of us with our pumpkins and upload them onto myspace. Then on Nov. 1st is the Halloween Carnival. So that should be fun. It will be Mikes first time in Alaska for that.
Also, school is going pretty good I guess. However, once again I am contemplating the idea of changing my major. The fact is I have no damn clue what I want to do. Lol. I started out with highschool education, changed to accounting, and am now thinking about the possibilities of early childhood education or business. However, at one point I even contemplated the idea of Special Education. But I really have no idea. If you ask me, maybe I shouldn’t be in college. Maybe I should attempt something like a postal exam, and go for working in a post office.
Last thing, Mike and I are thinking about going to Montana and Coos Bay for christmas. I can’t wait. I have never been to Montana, so that will be an interesting experience. Plus we haven’t seen Michaels family in awhile so that will be good. Then we will get to go to Coos Bay and see my cousins new little baby due the 25th of December!

Hey all;
Just thought that I would let ya all know that Mike and I have safely made it back to the state of Alaska. Our trip went great, although we found out it is slightly difficult to travel with a dog. Smile. However, our flight went great, and so did our IFA trip. It was actually one of the more comfortable rides we have had on their with only 12 passengers leaving us with plenty of room to maneuver the boat. Then the day after I got back I headed off to do some work. Which was great becuase, well I could make back some of that money that I spent while we were south. Then this coming week, I will also be working so I am slightly excited about that. Anyways, thats about all i have to share for now so on with the joke I received from a lady that emails me jokes all the time its about a politician. Hope you like it.
While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a
truck and dies.

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

“Welcome to heaven,” says St. Peter. “Before you settle in, it
seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you
see, so we’re not sure what to do with you.”

“No problem, just let me in,” says the senator.

“Well, I’d like to, but I have orders from h igher up. What we’ll do is
have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to
spend eternity.”

“Really, I’ve made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,” says the senator.

“I’m sorry, but we have our rules.”

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down,
down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf
course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his
friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his
hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the
expense of the people.

They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and
champagne.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friend ly guy who has a good
time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he
realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises …

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is
waiting for him.

“Now it’s time to visit heaven.”

So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving
from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and,
before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

“Well, then, you’ve spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose
your eternity.”

The senator reflects for a minute, then answers: “Well, I would never have said it before, I
mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in
hell.”

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

Now the doors of the elevator open and he’s in the middle of a barren land
covered with waste and garbage.

He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it
in black bags as more trash falls from above…

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. “I don’t
understand,” stammers the senator. “Yesterday I was here and there
was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank
champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there’s just a wasteland full
of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?”

The devil looks at him, smiles and says…….

“Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted.”

Michael and I have finally come to the end of our week journey in the state of Oregon with our lovely pt cruiser and the nice best western. It was a relatively boring trip. As all we did was do some Christmas shopping, and see friends for momentarily short periods… Shells for like 5 minutes and Sasha for like an hour or so. Anyways, we plan on heading back down towards Oregon probably in December or so. Depends on families plans. We also got to eat at Denny’s, Dairy Queen, Yangs, Red Robbin, and of course Road House. All the places that we were dying to go. Also we got to go watch Sex Drive in the theatre a show Michael and I were wanting to watch it was a great funny movie! We also went and got coffee from Starbucks, which was nasty by the way and from Dutch Bros. Who has the best coffee on the face of the earth. Well maybe not that great but its good:) Anyways this is where the story of the Green Creepy Crawlie comes in apparently when we picked up coffee somehow this beautiful green creepy crawly thingy majiger. It was almost impossible to kill. I hit it several times and the creepy thing just kept crawling off anyways I think it was a green stink bug. Kinda disturbing if you ask me. Anyways, michael finally killed the stupid thing, well almost it quit crawling all over then we stopped at Taco Bell to get food and i noticed it was kicking its legs to i squished it in half and it was still kicking! So I squished it again, and well it finally quit. I wish I would have taken a picture of it. Well anyways all we got left of our trip is the final destination to home! Hopefully it goes good. I will update you and let you know.

Hey all;
Just thought that I would inform you that I am heading to Oregon for the week! I am very excited to be going. I will get to see some friends, and use my cell phone! If you want you can text me at 1-503-580-7717. Anyways, hope ya all are having a great week. I will update you on how the trip is going, oh and also. It looks like the law has passed for charter boat people to only get one fish, as I was informed by Big B’s Fishing Adventures who is also my boss. If you would like to help charter boat people fight this issue, for their sakes as well as charter boat customers. You can feel free to visit Charter Halibut Task Force this will show you how you can donate to their efforts. Also, GW Hosting will donate 5 dollars to this cause everytime someone signs up for an account through them for this month. So if you are interested in a place to host that site of yours, check out http://www.gwhosting.net for prices and packages.